Hmm...... got cheated...

I was disappointed today, after finding myself being cheated purposefully, by someone whom I regard as friend, by someone whom I consistantly show my care on...

Emotion is a mixture now, feel like sad, with a bit pain, and mixed with anger... I felt very disappointed, I just felt everything I have done in this friendship is in vain... again!

Did I ever look down at this friend before ?? Have I restraint my friendship from this friend after this friend has disappeared all of a sudden and then popped up again suddenly?

I am naive? I am gullable? I am fun to play at on serious moment like this? No!! Because I trust your word on your answer to me! Because I care for your future that I still purposefully give you a call during midst of my work, just to know how you are and is everything still ok with you. I've asked you again whether this is just a joke during my call, you have chance to clarify that it is just a joke, but you didn't...

Trust is a very hard thing to build on, once we misuse it, we lose it, and we may never get it back ever again.. It is a sign of character, it is a label of integrity, it is a quality of our word...

I am speechless, I don't want to go for the extreme to say anything that is hurting

Today was having a long boring meeting at the office place, the sharing of vision by boss is not very exciting one, don't know why, maybe he already exhausted by the issues happen for the past 1 week ba.

Anyway, still busy with the personal projects at hand. Become more and more excited nowadays to see the project progressing as there will be fruits and outcome, something visible that will be come out soon. This project has been consuming about half a year as of this time, and finally the version 1.0 will be coming out soon.

May need to travel away from Singapore to the western side of the earth for a while after this project has been completed and reaches certain milestone. But I'm in need a good web designer now, to give the system a nice looking "clothes".

O-lvl results has been out today, it reminds me how I feel and become nervous on the day when my result is released. A bit miss this kind of torturing feeling, haha, I meant I a bit missing those study days only lar...

Today after waking up, mood quite good, last until evening hours. Maybe because my overall progress on my project is smooth and also faster than what I expected.

Thanks to all the friends that I talked to or looked for recently that have helped me de-stress. Though this is not over yet, but slightly better now compared to last period of time. Appreciate for your time and availability for this period of time. Also those who care enough to show your care and concern to me.

I need to back to my project work already. Blog again next time.

Today I woke up quite early in the morning, 5am+ already awake. Cannot sleep back, after trying 1,2,3, still cannot sleep, decided to wake up and go to office place early.

Wah, but in office my boss today quite stern, the whole atmosphere very tense, until I don't dare to laugh loud loud (oh ya, I normally just don't care and laugh loud loud even at office place when talking jokes with colleagues). Haha...

Recently different contact group is organizing different eating session, this saturday got a buffet lunch with colleagues, saturday night then go for BBQ in NUS, then next week plan to have a dinner session with my buddy in office place before he back to KL with his wife for CNY, then next friday another colleague is asking for another BBQ session, with so many eating session going on, I afraid I cannot lose weight... Haha, think need to move more, walk more, exercise more and eat less on other days to offset those energy level.

When the thin Jimmy will be back???

Money is something that everyone need to stay on this earth. But some of us go for the extra miles, so much extra to get more money. To those people, money has crossed the boundary of need to become a want to them.

Today I am thinking what is money? Obviously, money is the currency paper that we hold in hands, and coins that we hold in hands to exchange for materials or services that we like. So, obviously also I am not refering to this. I am just thinking what is the meaning for money...

My pastor taught me that money represents our life. We spent some of our time (varies depending on individual) to work in exchange of money to maintain our living expenses. So the money actually represents our life, because we are using our time and life to get it, and so where we spend it really represents what treasure in. But my blog today is not gonna discuss about this further either.

Actually I am just thinking, do I like money? What is the purpose for me to earn money? There is a reason why I ask myself these questions. I am like keep on trying various means and ways to earn more money, I think since 5 years ago. But my purpose is to want to keep myself from being tied down to unlimited working lifestyle. To some people, it is called retiring plan? But to me, I don't think there is a clear cut meaning for retirement.. What is retirement? Don't need to work is called retirement? Then stay at home at all time to do what? Won't it be so dull and boring life?

To me, I think retirement means an affordable lifestyle that is free from doing something that I don't really life. So if I like to work (workaholic??), then even I am working I can say that I have retired... But no lar, I am not workaholic.. I am quite lazy person, but I like to build up things, so the next thing I want to try is to building up business... The process is a very fun process, but the risk involved may not be fun at all, so be smart lar...

What am I trying to say today then? The big direction for my financial plan now is still to build up passive income sources, so that I can enter into retirement mode, i.e. a life mode that I am free to do things that I really enjoy...

Hm.... my friends who read this post, I am quite unique in my opinion to financial, neither am I very generous nor am I very money-minded, know me more then you know better on how I see this issue. Hee hee~~

Today I slept until 2.30pm, wow...

Saw clara kept on calling me, felt paiseh didn't pick up her phone. But I thank her for being initiated to try to give me a call when I was absence from the cg and service. This is a concern and care that christians have...

Went to watched the cg members playing badminton today in the afternoon, I myself have long time didn't play it liao, so didn't really dare to pick up the racket to play, who knows maybe cannot have a single hit?

But I was quite surprised to see so many people joining, this cell group is really very very very different in a positive way from those that I attended previously.

Finally have the chance to hear peng huat to sing, sing quite well. Previously only heard that he is one of the k-box kings in the cell group, today really is ears-openning. But it stir up a bit my interest to learn guitar again. At least when I were there hearing the guitar and singing, I felt relaxed from my stress life recently.

These days a bit stressed up, because there is something that I have been expecting myself to progress fast, but internally keep on not having enough momentum to rush...

Under such condition, feel even more xian about daily working life, how to breakthrough?

Stress means I am like wanted to eat more, really have to be cautious about this, so that weight won't explode... remind myself...

Today I am having headache, and my eyes are like very hard to open, very tired...

After a long period, finally manage to find my good buddy in the workplace to take a dinner together and talk later tonight... Haha.

But he really need blessing, as his workload is piled up so high, and everybody seems to want to have a stake from him in the workplace...

I am waiting for his invitation to his wedding in KL end of this year, but still in dilemma whether should go as if only I go myself, will be boring there; but if I don't go, it is his big day and it is really not good to miss it, since I call him my good buddy~~....

Headache!!!

Relax..

Today was quite relax on my way to office, don't know why... maybe because my progress last night is much better than what I initially thought off ba...

Anyway, relax mindset transform into funny ideas. Today along my way to office, the mind keeps on coming out with funny ideas, haha.. think will apply them on the respective adequite areas...

Having a chat with one of my colleagues. We chat about backpack travelling. It ignites my thought for backpack travelling again, it has been something in my mind to want to try for backpack travelling since university days, think should seek for a chance to realize this thought!

Need to enter into financial control, as there will be some events and outing coming into place for the next few weeks... Yeah, dinner time has come...

Tiring now anyway...

Politics

Recently have been quite concern about the politics development in Taiwan and my own country Malaysia. There is rumours saying that Malaysia is going to have national and states election soon during the school holidays in March.

Taiwan election for parliment has just over, I think the result is not surprising. Now everybody is looking forward to the result of the presidential election that will fall in March 22. But honestly speaking, I think Chen Sui Bian has not been doing a good job, at least in terms of impression. While he is so focus to talk about the foreign affair for Taiwan, he really has neglected the internal needs of his own people, it is a mess up of priority I think.

Back to the election of my beloved country - Malaysia. Recently there are a lot of things happen in the country, that will impact and introduce uncertainty to the election outcome. So I am quite curious and looking forward to the election day to see the outcome. Given BN already have string parliment for so long, I think it will be good if the opposition can get more seats this time, so that they can balance out the power of the BN and really monitor the performance of BN as government.

By the way, I have not registered myself for my election right yet, arg... must remember to do so in my next return to my hometown...

Reading Time...

It has been a while I never really sit down and read a book, maybe for a quarter or even half a year...

Recently have purchased some books, written by my favourite Taiwanese author called Liu Yong. His popular series point out the cunning sides about human society, and the various interaction techniques in the society.

Tonight, read this book, of which co-written by Liu Yong and his son Liu Xuan, it is about communication. The very special things about this father and son author is that they like to use examples in our daily lifes, or those small stories from the newspaper / societies to bring out the points they are trying to highlight.

I read this book before, back at that point of times, it helps me a bit in changing my way of talking to people. But after all these years, I have forgotten most part of it, and I think it is time to read it again, to smoothen my outward way of communicating myself to people. Wish me successful!

If you read chinese book also, I highly recommended this book. Even if this book does not help you in your communication, it is a very interesting book to read on, for those small stories that are being put in the book. I like to read their small stories also actually.

Suddenly have a funny thought - Why not we set a communication day, whereby this day is for us to remember the importance of communication, dialogue and conversation. The slogan can be something like "Use communication to replace war in the world, use communication to replace protest in the country, use communication to replace punishment in the family"...

Ok, since I am the one who raised this, I shall declare today 14 Jan as the communication day. Haha, just nice, 1 month later will be valentine's day / friendship day!

My Favourite Comic / Cartoon Series

Today I received a gift that my sis bought for me from her trip to Hong Kong, it is my favourite japanese comic series - Detective Conan - 10th anniversary special movie that is casted with real people

Who will be the 工藤新一? He is 小粟旬, he also casted a role as a student in the japanese drama series GTO. He is the one being bullied by 3 female classmates.



Haven't watched, no time yet, but is so great to receive this gift.. yeah...

Life will be busy and tight for coming few weeks, it will definately a challenge to my physical strength.

随笔的开始

我认为，音乐的韵律，文章的内容，棋的布局，画的勾勒往往都在抒发作者的内心情况

我是一个很喜欢写作但却也不太懂得写作的人，曾经想过创作戏剧的剧本或小说，投身文艺界，却迟迟没有付诸行动

不过如今，我想我又需要藉着文章来疏导内心世界的阵阵无奈

人生的舞台有着太多的无奈了，真的觉得有点负荷不了

快乐是什么？这问题太难了

Impressive!!!!

Today watched the full trailer by Ee Horng for the 2007 Thanksgiving CG, wow, impressively professional.

Hey Julius, if you happen pass by viewing this post, my salute to your skill, you totally opening up my eyes!! You really rocks man!!!


P/S: For those who are interested to take a look, you may visit his post dated Friday, December 28, 2007 at his blog blog archieve at:

http://channelmii.blogspot.com/2007_12_01_archive.html

Shopping Spree

Just collected the t-shirt that I bought few days ago...

Few days ago went for shopping, to prepare clothes for the new year that is coming....

Only then realized and understood why girls like shopping so much, there is a very pleasurable feeling when spending money, especially when there is NO LIMIT on how much can be spent, i.e. buying without need to even glimpse on the price tag.. that is cool, though it is "a bit" dangerous of overspending...

But when I were shopping that day, I basically did not have a concrete budget, so it is like don't need to see the price tag that much to buy stuff, so got the chance to feel that pleasurable feeling for shopping... I think first for life time on clothing... Haha~~

Need of Interaction

Just had dinner and fellowship session with an old chc friend, who now already join another church

Just before we ended our conversation, I suddenly come up with this thought - the need of interaction -

Yes, wanting to interact with other ppl is a need for many people, anyway, human being is a community species, human need friends around to talk to, interact to...

I used to spend a lot of time with myself, someone call it self-isolation.. Some of my closer friends will know this very very well. To certain extend, this is true, I will isolate myself from friends from time to time, to stay alone in the quiet place, especially if the group consists of quite a number of new faces that I don't know, but I think the addiction of such isolation need to be broken in this year...

Need to be more socializable, befriend to people so people will be friends of mine... I think it'll be a good goal.. yeah~~~ celebrate it!!!

岁末了，真快

近来常常都在整理我的思绪，可是却是越理越乱，真烦恼！

人前我在笑，
谁知背后恼？
面具带得牢，
没人会知晓。

曾经有一段时间很喜欢去学文人那样，作诗写词玩楚辞，觉得这是一种气质，这是一种风采。

长大一点之后，却发现气质是一种无形的感觉，是一种人与人接触的感觉，无法做作，不能抄袭的。

这篇部落格比较奇怪，只想天南地北任我谈，没有主题，没有主线。我觉得这种朦朦胧胧，飘忽不定的感觉也可以是种美


我的朋友
可能你觉得我过于飘忽不定
也可能你认为我难于了解
我只是希望我的声音，能有你的回应
不是应酬的回音，
不是习惯性的答复
不是礼貌上的回应
不是报答式的回复
我所要求的
只是将心比心
可以很容易，也可以很难
因为这需要人心的参与
我希望有你的认可
我等待你的反应
我越来越难坚持下去了
可我真的不想丢弃这些
我还在整理我的想法

或许我曾经带来很多麻烦
或许我曾经打扰你的宁静
对不起，我的朋友

我所了解的，你是不拜访别人部落格的大忙人，所以你也应该不会看得见我的这篇部落格

Tiring, stressing...

Today very tired, last night slept too late already...

But after being more settling from holiday mood, it is time to get back to fulfill those commitment that I have for various parties, projects~ my own goal~ tuitions~ work~ arg..

Time management is definately something I need to improve on, who can teach me???????

First blog after all these while...

Today I am quite happy...

My good buddy in the workplace told me that he will re-consider an important decision that he had made few weeks ago, initially he is resigning. But today, after talking to someone high high up there in the office org chart, he said he will re-consider this decision and keep on repeating to me that he is headache on it...

Honestly speaking, when he told me he is resigning, I am a bit sad for it, but I also know that I cannot influence him on his decision, because it is too important for him that I know I should not influence him at all on this important decision, so only can patiently wait for his answer...

But recently also felt bad, that my personal output is extremely low, and I keep on dilly dally in the office place. Everyday talk alot, drink tea alot, walk around alot, read email alot, but do only alittle. Cannot continue to stay in holiday mood liao... need to go full force again as soon as possible, and the appraisal also coming soon...

Work work work... only realize recently that working is like already taking 70% of my life time, how good it will be if I can build up passive income that will free me up from all-time active working, that will at least increase my free time by double, will work towards it.. my dream, my wish...