Time has passed by amazingly fast, it has been almost 2 months that I've never blog a single post... Am I very busy? Yes and no lar...
There are a lot of things that I want to do, I am interested to do, I dream of doing, but it is exactly because there are too many things that I want to do, they cancel out each other's attractions and I move slowly in each...
Recently I experienced a lot of occasion whereby I gain a lot of momentum in progressing in certain things, but then need to switch mode to handle some other things at the same time, and this cause me frustrated. I am more and more believe myself as a person who are suited to be very focus, not very suited to be multi-tasking. Anyway, I am not an Intel processor or an AMD processor, multi-tasking is not my attribute...
There are too many topics to blog on, but exactly because too many things to write down, I don't know what to write... Hm... I think I will write it out in my subsequent post... Heehee~~
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Wednesday, February 13, 2008
Thank you the hearer to the voice of my heart
First of all, my many thanks to the one who have heard the "voice of thrown out from my heart" here... I personally do agree with some of your points, though I am not sure if that matches the teaching of the bible...
By the way, I want to share something with you purposefully here. But before that, I would like to thank God about this. I don't know how to describe exactly, but some days ago, if I am not wrong, it should be since last last sunday/monday, my heart is filled with peace. It is something very special, it really helps to calm down my emotions, and more than that, it helps me to stay happy and joyful especially when interacting with people. This peace continuously fills me up to tonight, up to this moment.
I know I believe this is the peace of God, and I realize that when the peace of God is in me, any other bad things will become not important, and past hurts and disappointments and angers are just nothing, I meant as if they are so tiny until totally insignificant. It was under such condition I've put down my disappointments on that incident and decided to lift up the friend to God's lead, not because I no longer treat him as friend, but I just turn from active to passive in terms of my initiative. If he needs help and approach me, I will still try to help.. But maybe the sacrificial level will drop, the amount of time will drop, I am not sure, but the thing I am sure about is I will do some adjustment myself towards this friend...
Anyway, it has been a very long while I never posted any entry here, tonight while waiting for something to be done, I decided to spend some time to blog some recent event..
Chinese New Year has entered into its 7 days, today is called the "human being day" in the traditional chinese culture. By the way, up to today, the excitement of the chinese new year has almost totally faded away and life has settling down back to normal...
Today very tired, especially my eyes.. it keeps on turning red at night and feel like closing eye-lids all the time. Maybe need to be spend some time really away from screens, or is it because I played too much Mahjong past 1 week??
Hope my eyes will refreshed to its best condition soon...
By the way, I want to share something with you purposefully here. But before that, I would like to thank God about this. I don't know how to describe exactly, but some days ago, if I am not wrong, it should be since last last sunday/monday, my heart is filled with peace. It is something very special, it really helps to calm down my emotions, and more than that, it helps me to stay happy and joyful especially when interacting with people. This peace continuously fills me up to tonight, up to this moment.
I know I believe this is the peace of God, and I realize that when the peace of God is in me, any other bad things will become not important, and past hurts and disappointments and angers are just nothing, I meant as if they are so tiny until totally insignificant. It was under such condition I've put down my disappointments on that incident and decided to lift up the friend to God's lead, not because I no longer treat him as friend, but I just turn from active to passive in terms of my initiative. If he needs help and approach me, I will still try to help.. But maybe the sacrificial level will drop, the amount of time will drop, I am not sure, but the thing I am sure about is I will do some adjustment myself towards this friend...
Anyway, it has been a very long while I never posted any entry here, tonight while waiting for something to be done, I decided to spend some time to blog some recent event..
Chinese New Year has entered into its 7 days, today is called the "human being day" in the traditional chinese culture. By the way, up to today, the excitement of the chinese new year has almost totally faded away and life has settling down back to normal...
Today very tired, especially my eyes.. it keeps on turning red at night and feel like closing eye-lids all the time. Maybe need to be spend some time really away from screens, or is it because I played too much Mahjong past 1 week??
Hope my eyes will refreshed to its best condition soon...
Friday, February 1, 2008
It has been about a week since my last blog...
A few events happen for this week. But I am glad that my good buddy in the workplace now decided to stay after my company counter-offered him some terms that I don't know about the details. And he is now applying for master course in NTU, wish his application to be successful.
This past 1 week has been in a spin-around thought for my own efforts I place in the friendships and relationships I am/was building. I think this is the continuous effect from last week incident that I found myself being cheated, causing me to re-think the value of my trust placing on people. But more importantly, it causes me to think again questions like "is it worth to put in efforts for my friends at all? Will it go in vain again one day? Will my friends appreciate these efforts that I am putting in, or they will just treat that as nothing???"
Recently I thought I have a slight breakthrough in the cell group that I am more hanging around with the cell group, or rather, I start to feel interested to hang around more and fellowship more with the cell group members, then the news about the connect groups comes out, and I felt very sian liao for fellowshiping in the cell group... Just 1 arrangement already almost totally spoilt my interest in the cg fellowship... I think my unhappiness is of 2 fold... If my cell group leader ever observed slightly closely on me in the cell group, he would have known I am closer to whom in the cg and don't need to ask me. And I also have a strong feeling of my previous efforts that I put into fellowshipping with the few comparative closer friends that I currently have in the cell group is in vain or will be in vain again, right after last week incident, this feeling is much stronger and impacting me in a deeper level... I am sinking into the passive side, and this passiveness cause me feel like staying alone again from church and cell group... I think now even if my cell group leader will do any amendment I will still feel very sian to hanging around with the cg already...
Really a very sian week......
A few events happen for this week. But I am glad that my good buddy in the workplace now decided to stay after my company counter-offered him some terms that I don't know about the details. And he is now applying for master course in NTU, wish his application to be successful.
This past 1 week has been in a spin-around thought for my own efforts I place in the friendships and relationships I am/was building. I think this is the continuous effect from last week incident that I found myself being cheated, causing me to re-think the value of my trust placing on people. But more importantly, it causes me to think again questions like "is it worth to put in efforts for my friends at all? Will it go in vain again one day? Will my friends appreciate these efforts that I am putting in, or they will just treat that as nothing???"
Recently I thought I have a slight breakthrough in the cell group that I am more hanging around with the cell group, or rather, I start to feel interested to hang around more and fellowship more with the cell group members, then the news about the connect groups comes out, and I felt very sian liao for fellowshiping in the cell group... Just 1 arrangement already almost totally spoilt my interest in the cg fellowship... I think my unhappiness is of 2 fold... If my cell group leader ever observed slightly closely on me in the cell group, he would have known I am closer to whom in the cg and don't need to ask me. And I also have a strong feeling of my previous efforts that I put into fellowshipping with the few comparative closer friends that I currently have in the cell group is in vain or will be in vain again, right after last week incident, this feeling is much stronger and impacting me in a deeper level... I am sinking into the passive side, and this passiveness cause me feel like staying alone again from church and cell group... I think now even if my cell group leader will do any amendment I will still feel very sian to hanging around with the cg already...
Really a very sian week......
Friday, January 25, 2008
Hmm...... got cheated...
I was disappointed today, after finding myself being cheated purposefully, by someone whom I regard as friend, by someone whom I consistantly show my care on...
Emotion is a mixture now, feel like sad, with a bit pain, and mixed with anger... I felt very disappointed, I just felt everything I have done in this friendship is in vain... again!
Did I ever look down at this friend before ?? Have I restraint my friendship from this friend after this friend has disappeared all of a sudden and then popped up again suddenly?
I am naive? I am gullable? I am fun to play at on serious moment like this? No!! Because I trust your word on your answer to me! Because I care for your future that I still purposefully give you a call during midst of my work, just to know how you are and is everything still ok with you. I've asked you again whether this is just a joke during my call, you have chance to clarify that it is just a joke, but you didn't...
Trust is a very hard thing to build on, once we misuse it, we lose it, and we may never get it back ever again.. It is a sign of character, it is a label of integrity, it is a quality of our word...
I am speechless, I don't want to go for the extreme to say anything that is hurting
I was disappointed today, after finding myself being cheated purposefully, by someone whom I regard as friend, by someone whom I consistantly show my care on...
Emotion is a mixture now, feel like sad, with a bit pain, and mixed with anger... I felt very disappointed, I just felt everything I have done in this friendship is in vain... again!
Did I ever look down at this friend before ?? Have I restraint my friendship from this friend after this friend has disappeared all of a sudden and then popped up again suddenly?
I am naive? I am gullable? I am fun to play at on serious moment like this? No!! Because I trust your word on your answer to me! Because I care for your future that I still purposefully give you a call during midst of my work, just to know how you are and is everything still ok with you. I've asked you again whether this is just a joke during my call, you have chance to clarify that it is just a joke, but you didn't...
Trust is a very hard thing to build on, once we misuse it, we lose it, and we may never get it back ever again.. It is a sign of character, it is a label of integrity, it is a quality of our word...
I am speechless, I don't want to go for the extreme to say anything that is hurting
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Today was having a long boring meeting at the office place, the sharing of vision by boss is not very exciting one, don't know why, maybe he already exhausted by the issues happen for the past 1 week ba.
Anyway, still busy with the personal projects at hand. Become more and more excited nowadays to see the project progressing as there will be fruits and outcome, something visible that will be come out soon. This project has been consuming about half a year as of this time, and finally the version 1.0 will be coming out soon.
May need to travel away from Singapore to the western side of the earth for a while after this project has been completed and reaches certain milestone. But I'm in need a good web designer now, to give the system a nice looking "clothes".
O-lvl results has been out today, it reminds me how I feel and become nervous on the day when my result is released. A bit miss this kind of torturing feeling, haha, I meant I a bit missing those study days only lar...
Anyway, still busy with the personal projects at hand. Become more and more excited nowadays to see the project progressing as there will be fruits and outcome, something visible that will be come out soon. This project has been consuming about half a year as of this time, and finally the version 1.0 will be coming out soon.
May need to travel away from Singapore to the western side of the earth for a while after this project has been completed and reaches certain milestone. But I'm in need a good web designer now, to give the system a nice looking "clothes".
O-lvl results has been out today, it reminds me how I feel and become nervous on the day when my result is released. A bit miss this kind of torturing feeling, haha, I meant I a bit missing those study days only lar...
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Today after waking up, mood quite good, last until evening hours. Maybe because my overall progress on my project is smooth and also faster than what I expected.
Thanks to all the friends that I talked to or looked for recently that have helped me de-stress. Though this is not over yet, but slightly better now compared to last period of time. Appreciate for your time and availability for this period of time. Also those who care enough to show your care and concern to me.
I need to back to my project work already. Blog again next time.
Thanks to all the friends that I talked to or looked for recently that have helped me de-stress. Though this is not over yet, but slightly better now compared to last period of time. Appreciate for your time and availability for this period of time. Also those who care enough to show your care and concern to me.
I need to back to my project work already. Blog again next time.
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Today I woke up quite early in the morning, 5am+ already awake. Cannot sleep back, after trying 1,2,3, still cannot sleep, decided to wake up and go to office place early.
Wah, but in office my boss today quite stern, the whole atmosphere very tense, until I don't dare to laugh loud loud (oh ya, I normally just don't care and laugh loud loud even at office place when talking jokes with colleagues). Haha...
Recently different contact group is organizing different eating session, this saturday got a buffet lunch with colleagues, saturday night then go for BBQ in NUS, then next week plan to have a dinner session with my buddy in office place before he back to KL with his wife for CNY, then next friday another colleague is asking for another BBQ session, with so many eating session going on, I afraid I cannot lose weight... Haha, think need to move more, walk more, exercise more and eat less on other days to offset those energy level.
When the thin Jimmy will be back???
Wah, but in office my boss today quite stern, the whole atmosphere very tense, until I don't dare to laugh loud loud (oh ya, I normally just don't care and laugh loud loud even at office place when talking jokes with colleagues). Haha...
Recently different contact group is organizing different eating session, this saturday got a buffet lunch with colleagues, saturday night then go for BBQ in NUS, then next week plan to have a dinner session with my buddy in office place before he back to KL with his wife for CNY, then next friday another colleague is asking for another BBQ session, with so many eating session going on, I afraid I cannot lose weight... Haha, think need to move more, walk more, exercise more and eat less on other days to offset those energy level.
When the thin Jimmy will be back???
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)