Tonight went out night jogging with Hq. The feeling after the run is so good, even though my stamina is as bad now after so long never really go for any serious exercises, but today is definitely a good start for me to picking up running...
Once heard before people said that once your muscle cramp before, it tends to be easier to cramp again, I don't know how true it is, and also don't know how long the effective period this saying is refering to, but unfortunately, my leg, cramp again... I used to have leg cramp.. at the age of 16/17... but forgotten if cramp on the same leg...
But when I immediately touched the muscle when I feel cramped, I can really feel the 'piece of meat' called muscle 'moving', the feeling is so weird... Alright.. don't know what will happen to my muscles tomorrow... I may be crawling into the office...
Will I be the spiderman or the cicakman will depend on my physical condition tomorrow liao~
Anyway, I open up another section below for today to blog down some unhappy stuff also... Recently my heart kept on very tiring, not physical one, but mental and emotional one... Everything turns out not to be good in life, and this situation is worsen by losing the sense of direction in life... My emotion is impacted very easily, and I am at the line of decisions for my principles of life now, either to stick with what I am adapting right now, or swicth to the opposite. Very often, I am so tempted to switch to the opposite and at time already stepping over to the other side of the line, anyway, who will care if my believe system and my characters already changed??
May be due to my past, I felt that my cg leader don't know how to "handle" me when I share something with him, and at times, this feeling is so bad that I am thinking that he may not be interested with what is happening in my life anymore... Is it because I overshare my life to him in the past? Is it because I will be very open to take every initiative to share with him almost anything if something happen in my life? I don't know, but I surely in doubt... If I no longer sharing all these.. who really cares?
Cares and concerns, I thought I have, but none the less, it seems I don't really have... I don't know how much you care, I cannot tell, neither I can tell how much God cares! My heart cannot feel this correctly now... Sometimes just feel like close heart up, and never open it up again..
Someone said to me before: joy is a choice, but this so far still does not applicable to me... If I showing happy face just because of the happy-face-mask that I am wearing, this is still too far away from the joy that I am pursuing...
